What could i do so i don't get turned onto something that i really don't want to ?

I'm suffering a very hard time because i can't suppress my urges to grope elderly women. I'm an guy who has an interest of wearing elderly woman's clothing and my birth name is Jude but i prefer to be called Judy after i started the interest of feeling elderly women's rears. I can't stop feeling up old chicks because whenever i go out and about and i see elderly women in high heel shoes i would want to wear some high heels and i think my old lady has an negative effect on me. I'm thinking I'm starting to turn senile i think because i now have slow characteristics such as interest in watching Martha Stewart on you tube and i keep on having fantasy of me as a girl giving to Joan Rivers. I think I am straight and i was straight before but i think I'm starting to turn gay. The reason why I dig oldies is because i never had a girlfriend and i never had before at all, no matter how much I tried asking girls out no one ever accepted my offer to take them out. I'm currently 19 years old and I went through high school without having a girlfriend and sometimes i get upset because no one loves me. What could i do to save myself from robbing the grave ?? I'm really scared because i want to have a wife in the future not robbing the grave. Do you really think it's because i don't have a girlfriend so that's why i want old chicks all over me or is it something else ?